LATEST RUGBY WORLD MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTION DEALS RUGBY WORLD: What’s your favourite joke?GEORGE CHUTER: Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”RW: Do you have any nicknames?GC: Big Guy, Ace. Not really – it’s more Big Nose and Hooter.RW: What’s your guilty pleasure?GC: I’ve got a sweet tooth, so chocolate.RW: Do you have any hidden talents?GC: I’m a really good dancer, but no one’s ever seen it. People do it for a living and I don’t want to make them feel bad.Lift buddy: Mila KunisRW: What last made you laugh?GC: Probably Dan Cole looking at bodybuilders on the internet. He’s trying to get tips.RW: And what’s the last thing that made you angry?GC: Being stuck behind a tractor on the way to training.RW: Who are the jokers at Leicester?GC: Julian Salvi and Thomas Waldrom are pretty funny, but they’re the butt of jokes; the jokees rather than jokers. Salvi keeps telling me he’s book smart, but he’s street stupid; he’s got no common sense.RW: Any practical jokes you can share?GC: A few years ago Lewis Moody and Seru Rabeni had a practical joke war that escalated and almost ended in hospitalisation. First Lewis took Seru’s socks, then Seru tied knots in all of Lewis’s clothes and Lewis threw Seru’s clothes in the bin. It continued going tit for tat in revenge. Luckily Seru’s in France now and Lewis has retired.RW: What are your bugbears? GC: Having to mow my lawn. There’s a little strip of grass down the side of my house, 20ft long, and plugging in the mower and doing it is a pain in the arse. I’m just lazy.RW: Who’d you like to be stuck in a lift with? TAGS: Leicester Tigers The Leicester hooker gives an insight into his personality GC: Probably not by this interview. I’m a lot funnier in person.This article appeared in the June 2012 issue of Rugby World. Farmer Brown: Chuter and Sam Vesty perform as part of Slo Progress in support of the Matt Hampson Trust GC: Probably my wife, but she’s not here so (actress) Mila Kunis. I think she’d be quite good with her hands so could open the lid at the top of the lift. I’d just want to get out of there because it would be hot and stuffy. RW: If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why?GC: Probably to have the power of laughter. (Cue laughing from RW). See, I’ve got it already.RW: What’s the silliest thing you’ve bought?GC: A swingball set. I used it and the ball broke off. It was rubbish – I was obviously too strong for it. It lasted 18 minutes – and I’d spent 17 minutes trying to get the thing in the floor. Thinking about it, I probably shouldn’t have set it up in the patio.RW: Who would be your three dream dinner-party guests?GC: Skinny people so I could eat all the food. I might invite a few politicans and poison them. Actually, could I have 300 people? Then I could invite the whole of the House of Commons, lock the door and burn the house down! Then I’d have all the food too.RW: Who’d play you in a film of your life?GC: Jonny Wilkinson. I’ve got a really good story to tell and I can’t think of anyone better to tell it. Otherwise Brad Pitt or the guy playing Alfie, Mickey Rourke.RW: What’s the funniest thing you’ve heard on the pitch?GC: I was playing for Saracens against Swansea in about ‘98 and there was a bit of a scuffle for some reason. Paul Arnold, their second-row, pushed me away and said, “F*** off back to Nose City.” I like people to be more creative with their nose humour, but I really appreciate Monty Python so I couldn’t say anything back.RW: What would be your specialist subject on Mastermind? GC: Star Wars. I’m a big sci-fi fan and I appreciate the storylines.RW: What would you like to achieve outside of rugby?GC: World peace. Shoot for the stars or you may as well not bother.RW: How would you like to be remembered?
(ESPNCricinfo) – Younis Khan has been ruled out of Pakistan’s first Test against West Indies, with doctors advising 10 days of rest for him to regain his strength after recovering from a bout of dengue fever.“Younis has informed chief selector Inzamam-ul-Haq that he won’t be able to play the first Test,” a PCB spokesperson told ESPNcricinfo. “The selectors are yet to announce the squad, but it is confirmed that Younis will not take part in the opening game in Dubai. He asked for rest to be fully fit before his national selection since he has recently recovered from dengue.”Last month, the 38-year-old Younis contracted a high fever that was later diagnosed as the mosquito-borne disease dengue, for which he was treated in a Karachi hospital. This forced him to miss the first round of the Quaid-e-Azam Trophy, Pakistan’s premier first-class tournament. Doctors have advised Younis to extend his rest for another 10 days. He is expected to be available for the second Test in Abu Dhabi.Younis last missed a Test match in May 2011 – also against West Indies, coincidentally, in St Kitts – and has since featured in 41 successive matches, scoring 3839 runs in that period, at an average of 59.06. He is now Pakistan’s leading run-getter in Tests with 9 456 runs at 53.72, and in his last appearance scored 218 against England at The Oval.Pakistan will begin their three-match Test series with a pink-ball, day-night match at the Dubai International Stadium from October 13. The second Test begins on October 21 in Abu Dhabi, and the third in Sharjah on October 30.